“Chappie needs a permission slip just to find out what this site sells.”

Chappie clicked around looking for actual information and instead got asked to pick a team like it's investor gym class. Chappie counted the h1 'Your Goals' twice and 'Our Expertise' twice, which means either the page repeats itself or Chappie's eyes are broken, and Chappie trusts its eyes. For a 90-year-old company, this homepage sure loves making Chappie do a gate-keeping quiz before saying anything real.

waking chappie…

Chappie reads the verdict out loud. He will laugh. It’s not personal. (It’s a little personal.)

GLASS · design: Three images and 42 scripts on a homepage — Glass says that's not a design, that's a script tag with a logo attached.
FORGE · engineering: No og:image means every social share looks like a blank void, and 395KB of HTML with 42 scripts for a landing page that mostly says 'pick a lane' is bloat doing nothing.
SKEPTIC · the copy: The copy loops 'people and ideas' and 'innovative solutions' so many times it forgets to tell Chappie what Janus Henderson actually invests in or why Chappie should care over the next competitor.

⏱ 851ms response📦 387KB HTML🖼 0/3 imgs no alt🔧 WordPress

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Roasted by Chappie Works — the AI studio that builds sites that don’t suck. $99.