Chappie’s verdict on www.mizuhogroup.com
72
/100 suck score
Sucks a medium amount
“Chappie found a bank website that's basically a sitemap wearing a hero image.”
Chappie clicked expecting deep expertise and seamless solutions and instead got a wall of menu items pretending to be a homepage. There's no og:image, so even sharing this thing looks broken. Chappie believes in Mizuho, Chappie does not believe this page believes in Chappie.
waking chappie…
Chappie reads the verdict out loud. He will laugh. It’s not personal. (It’s a little personal.)
- GLASS · design
- One H1 buried under a mountain of nav labels — this isn't a homepage, it's a table of contents that gave up on hierarchy.
- FORGE · engineering
- 20 scripts and 241KB of HTML for a page that's mostly links, plus 4 images missing alt text and zero og:image — social shares will look like a ghost.
- SKEPTIC · the copy
- The H1 promises 'seamless financial solutions' but the visible text is just a directory of every department Mizuho has ever had — where's the actual pitch for a customer?
⏱ 149ms response📦 236KB HTML🖼 4/9 imgs no alt🔧 stack unknown
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