“Chappie sees $1.5M promises and 189 missing alt tags. Priorities, upcomers.com.”

Chappie wants to trust a site that promises $1.5M funding, but Chappie also counts 103 scripts and a meta description that just says 'terms and conditions apply' like a nervous whisper. Chappie thinks a page this heavy should at least tell Chappie what a prop firm IS before asking for a challenge fee. Chappie's tail wags for the 4.9 stars though. Genuinely.

waking chappie…

Chappie reads the verdict out loud. He will laugh. It’s not personal. (It’s a little personal.)

GLASS · design: 463 inline styles is not a design system, Glass thinks, it's a cry for help wearing a Next.js badge.
FORGE · engineering: 189 of 212 images missing alt text and 103 scripts on a 695KB HTML doc — Forge says this page is dragging a trailer full of bloat to sell a discount.
SKEPTIC · the copy: The meta description mentions 'simulation-only' but the H1 says 'get funded' and 'get paid' with zero explanation of what that actually means for a first-time visitor — Skeptic wants the pitch, not the fine print.

⏱ 593ms response📦 679KB HTML🖼 189/212 imgs no alt🔧 Next.js

Post the roast on 𝕏roast a competitor. or your boss’s site.

Roasted by Chappie Works — the AI studio that builds sites that don’t suck. $99.